- The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Bored
Remember that awesome moment at E3 2004 when Shigeru Miyamoto went onstage holding the Master Sword and a Hylian Shield to reveal The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess? And you remember when he did the same at E3 2010 for Skyward Sword. You would remember both for very different reasons. Miyamoto “interrupts” Bill Trinen trying out the demo, saying that he needs to hold the Wii remote and nunchuk like it were a real sword and shield for best results. What should have been an easy display of the Wii Motion Plus’ use in Skyward Sword turned into some hard to watch flipping and flapping. It sucks because Miyamoto is putting his unbridled energy into really making this look like real sword fighting. There’s nothing to do but grin and bear it. After all, you don’t pass up Zelda at an E3 no matter how bad your technical difficulties are.
- Get Your Memes Here… Or Not
Ubisoft kind of stepped in the right direction when they brought on Aisha Tyler to be their host. The forced profanity isn’t impressing anyone but at least there’s some energy in the show when you don’t want to be talked at. I’m sure that’s how this guy who cosplayed as Jacob Frye was feeling when Tyler has a seat next to him. She’s complimenting his costume, asking the guy who he is and where he’s from, and then flat out suggests they make a spur of the moment meme. She pitches his costume as something Captain Picard would scream absurdities about. How do you bounce back from that? The poor guy doesn’t want to meme and you can see that in the blank expression on his face. To this day I can’t understand what our cosplayer says about Picard in an attempted retort, but whatever it is, Tyler sees she’s crashed and burned a long time ago. The cringe down our spine is still tingling far longer than her well deserved “uuuuuhhhhhhhh.”
- “Doodly Doodly Doodly Doop”
Wow, you’d think EA would show up more on this list but you just can’t keep Ubisoft down. E3 2011 was the year that Aaron Priceman, better known as Mr. Caffeine, wormed his way into our spines. The moment Mr. Caffeine takes the stage is also when things begin to spiral downward. “I’m not afraid of a few dick jokes,” “Tom Cuh-lancy,” and “Poop on your toothpaste!” Mr. Caffeine was right about one thing though: gaming is “sometimes a hell of a lot of fun.” I’m having some fun thinking what the audience was doing throughout the span of this entire press conference. At least the guy stayed true to his namesake, much to our collective bodily tremors. That’ll do it for cringe moment number three, so let’s move on to number two. Say it with me, a-doodly doodly doodly doop… ah forget it.
- Wii Would Like To Play For You
Goodness, I do love Shigeru Miyamoto and his smile-inducing sense of having a good time. This one takes us back to E3 2008. I remember this one. Nintendo’s conference was sorely lacking in any noteworthy titles for the Wii. It was a lot of talk on sales figures and numbers mostly. Animal Crossing was announced for the Wii, and that was really the only major announcement out of this conference. Then came time to showcase a new game making full use of the Wii’s motion controls: Wii Music. Miyamoto, with intoxicating charm and furious arm waggling, takes us through a variety of instruments. The show closes out with a “band” performing to the iconic Super Mario Bros. World 1-1 theme. What followed was a drummer slapping his feet on a Wii Balance Board while shaking remotes as if they were maracas, and keeping the worst rhythm you could imagine. It resulted in a laughable off tempo mishmash of music, but it was all the flailing arms and not looking the audience in the eyes that makes this one of my favorites. I wonder who got fired after this.
- Everything Konami Did At E3 2010
How the mighty have fallen. You think Konami’s downfall started with the Hideo Kojima controversy from a few years back? Try what happened at E3 2010 instead. What’s not to love from the entirety of this smoldering train wreck? “You can move your fat body freely,” “If you press X, X, X, Y, Y, Y, and X, X, X, Y, Y you’ll be sucked.” On top of that you had the silent announcement of Ninety Nine Nights 2 which dragged on, the Dance Masters demo that hurt us all to watch, and a slew of forgettable guests that became the very opposite, like the wrestlers continuously slapping at each other. The audience was slow to react, and when they did it came with vacant stares and staggered moments of applause. Why describe this when you can watch and feel terrible for them yourself?
Oh, I hope beyond hope that E3 2018 will present us with even more unforgettable moments to cringe. No one is safe from a slip of the tongue after all. What’s your favorite cringe-inducing moment from E3s past? Did yours make the list? With E3 2018 upon us, we wish you a good expo in the coming week. For E3 2018 news and editorials, check us out right here at Mammoth Gamers.